When You Die, You’re No Longer a Person

Die, death, and dying

A dear friend was admitted to the ICU at a local hospital after an arduous battle with cancer. Her family lives on the West Coast and told me the doctors didn’t think she’d make it. I rushed  to the hospital and sat with her for a few hours as she drifted in and out of consciousness. I’d like to think she knew I was there.

Early the next morning, I called the hospital to find out her condition. “We don’t have a patient by that name, ” they told me

“Of course you do. I was at her bedside a few hours ago,” I said, a bit annoyed about the bureaucratic inefficiencies.

My call was transferred to the medical unit where they told me she had been discharged. “Of course she wasn’t.” Now I was really annoyed. “She didn’t just walk out of there,” I snapped.

When you die in the hospital

I tried, but I couldn’t deny the awful truth. My friend had passed away. I was the last person to see her alive, other than the medical staff. Now there was no record of her being a patient in the hospital.

When you die, you’re no longer a person.

Who is your executor?

I wrote on this blog and in Gold Diggers and Deadbeat Dads about “Diane.” She wanted me to be co-executor with her cousin of her estate. I refused. I told her I’d gladly serve as her sole executor or a contingent executor. But there were too many potential problems if I carried out this critical task with a stranger. I was relieved that she named another friend as co-executor.

Is your will up to date? Who is your executor? Are you confident they will carry out your wishes?

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Related posts:

Why I Refuse to be Co-executor of Your Will
You’re in a Coma: What are the Financial Consequences?
Dying Words

Image © iStock.com/peebert

Once a Deadbeat, Always?

Deadbeat dad

Here’s another deadbeat dad story — but with an unusual twist.

(Yes, I know plenty of deadbeat mothers exist. Here’s a tragic example. But “Gold Diggers and Deadbeat Non-Custodial Parents” isn’t catchy.)

If you read my book Gold Diggers and Deadbeat Dads: True Stories of Friends, Family, and Financial Ruin, you might remember Diana’s story, “Where Did All the Child Support Money Go?”

Diana’s troubles began when she married her high school sweetheart Bart, who turned out to be anything but sweet, she told me.

Instead, he was a raging alcoholic who slept around their small town in a Minneapolis suburb.

[Read more…]

Would You Loan Your Family Money, Even If You Knew They Lied?

 

Lying woman wants to borrow money

The following blog post is part of the The Road to Financial Wellness  Blog Tour. Over a period of 30 days, the Phroogal team will go to 30 locations to raise awareness about financial empowerment. On June 6 they will be in the Washington D.C. area! Our goal is to help people learn about money by starting the conversation. We understand that local conversations can help bring about national awareness.

***

I met William when he was doing plumbing repairs at my home. I’ve got an old house, so plumbing issues crop up periodically. We started talking and he told me about his dysfunctional childhood.

(It always amazes me when people tell me such intimate details about their lives, and not just about money.)

[Read more…]