When You Die, You’re No Longer a Person

Death and dying

This post has little to do with financial issues, but I felt compelled to write it.

A dear friend was admitted to the ICU at a local hospital after an arduous battle with cancer. Her family lives on the West Coast and called to tell me that the doctors didn’t think she would make it. I rushed over to the hospital and sat with her for a few hours as she drifted in and out of consciousness. I’d like to think she knew I was there.

Early the next morning, I called the hospital to find out her condition. “We don’t have a patient by that name, ” they told me

“Of course you do. I was at her bedside a few hours ago,” I said, a bit annoyed about the bureaucratic inefficiencies.

My call was transferred to the medical unit where they told me she had been discharged. “Of course she wasn’t.” Now I was really annoyed. “She didn’t just walk out of there,” I snapped.

I tried, but I couldn’t deny the awful truth. My friend had passed away. I was the last person to see her alive, other than the medical staff. Now there was no record of her being a patient in the hospital.

When you die, you’re no longer a person.

PS: I did write on this blog and in Gold Diggers and Deadbeat Dads about “Serena.” She wanted me to be co-executor with her cousin of her estate. I told her I refused. I’d gladly serve as her sole executor or contingent executor. But there were too many potential problems that could arise by carrying out this critical task with a stranger. I was relieved that she named another friend as co-executor.

Image © iStock.com/peebert

Related posts:

Why I Refuse to be Co-executor of Your Will
You’re in a Coma: What are the Financial Consequences?
Did You Give Too Much Power in your Power of Attorney?
Update – Powerful Power of Attorney
Dying Words

One Book, Three Opinions

 

Gold Diggers and Deadbeat Dads: True Stories of Friends, Family, and Financial Ruin was published just a week ago!

I’m thrilled that three writers instantly wrote book reviews on their blogs, each from an entirely different perspective.

Accomplished personal finance writer Julie Rains took a unique religious look at how money can ruin relationships on her inspiring blog, Working to Live.

Free to Pursue‘s author F2P, an avid reader of many genres, somehow found time to write her review titled “Infidelity of a Different Kind That Can Hurt Just as Much.”

Doug Nordman of The Military Guide, who is a noted expert on all issues where money and military service collide, wrote the best one-line summary: “The book is a voyeuristic, slow-motion-train-wreck, schadenfreude read.”

Thanks for your support!

Have you read Gold Diggers yet? The paperback and ebook editions are available at Amazon.

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Update – Powerful Power of Attorney

Elder financial abuse victim who gave power of attorney to daughter

It’s almost a year since I met with Daniel. He wrote me recently with a detailed update on the story about his elderly mother and scheming sister Amy.

Their late father’s estate was opened and slammed shut by the Probate Court because Amy claimed Dad had more debts than assets and he had no joint bank accounts. But Daniel says he’s got evidence to prove that Amy blatantly misused her power of attorney to channel money to herself, and that their parents had joint checking accounts for many years.

[Read more…]

I Handed All My Money to the Handyman

loaned moneyWhy did an intelligent woman loan nearly all her money to a guy who was only in the Friend Zone?

There aren’t any easy or obvious answers.

Quite often we don’t understand why we do certain things with money.

Spend. Save. Earn. Waste. Loan. Borrow. Invest. Donate. Hide. Hoard. Give. Take. Splurge. Keep.

There’s a complicated hodge-podge of emotions behind every financial decision we make.

[Read more…]

A Golden Oldie Blog

Personal finance

UPDATE 9.3.2014: Voting has closed and this blog was selected as a finalist! Thanks for your support.

Dear Friends, Readers, and Perfect Strangers,

I’m asking for your help.

Soon I’m attending FinCon, the premier conference for personal finance bloggers and writers.

I know it sounds like a lot of dry, dull, snooze-inducing lectures about topics you’d rather not have shoved down your throat all weekend. Budgeting. Credit. Paying off debt. Investing. College loans. Retirement. Blah.

Instead, it’s a lot of fun hanging out with 500+ personal finance people who proudly proclaim ourselves as money nerds! [Read more…]

The Gold Digger Who Would Murder for Money

gold digger

An attractive woman in her mid-60s, Julie told me about her three failed marriages while we sipped hot chocolate on a wintery afternoon. The details of the first two are not important to this story.

Her third husband, Doug, was a real lady-killer.

She didn’t know he was a cold-blooded gold digger who would  murder for money.

[Read more…]

Did You Give Too Much Power in Your Power of Attorney?

Elder financial abuse victim who gave a power of attorney to her daughter

A divorced, currently unemployed auto mechanic in his mid-fifties, Daniel told me a whopping combination of inheritance and elder abuse stories. He uncovered the disturbing details when he moved back home to Baltimore after losing his job in Atlanta.

[Read more…]

Is Your State a Hotbed for Gold Diggers?

Look out for gold diggers

Many years after his first wife died of cancer, Jack, a successful orthopedist in Phoenix, married Kristin. After being alone for so long, Jack was overjoyed to have a new beginning with this intelligent, charming woman.

But Kristin had her own secret plans. She knew she landed a good catch who had worked hard his whole life to build a profitable medical practice. She wanted a chunk of the gold – fast.

[Read more…]

The World’s Most Callous Deadbeat Dad

Deadbeat dadBethany and I had lunch in a cafe near San Diego. Her cousin took Chrystal, Bethany’s six-year old daughter, to play in the park while Bethany and I chatted about Chrystal’s deadbeat daddy.

On a rebound from a failed relationship, Bethany met Dwayne at a bar when she was in her early 30s. After they spent just one night together, she got pregnant.

[Read more…]

Gambling Losses and Financial Infidelity are No Big Deal

Gambling money losses

 

 

 

 

 

 

Briana knows that there are two sides to the story when a marriage fails.

“In my world, I was always right,” she told me. “David gambled away our future. In his mind — I ran our company into the ground.”

I asked Briana what she knew about David’s finances before they married.

[Read more…]